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According to the book description of
White Roses In A Dream: Traits, Patterns and
Action Plans, “"While writing this
sequel to my first book, MANipulated Into Fear,
There Is Always A Pattern, I couldn’t
understand how I was able to live the dark side
of life while others perceived me as living a
happy normal life. I was devastated at the
thought of being unemployed now and allowing my
relationship with an abuser to affect my family
and me, and our lives. I began to realize that
I, too, had traits, patterns and action plans,
just like Rolf, and that there was always a
pattern of abuse within families.
Irrational thoughts entered my mind, and I
began contemplating ending Rolf’s life before
he ended mine. In the same vein, if I didn’t
murder Rolf, I felt the need for me to take my
own life to stop living in fear because of
Rolf. I was hoping that there was a way for me
to control my fear, when one day, I saw white
roses and knew that they symbolized new
beginnings. Several months later, I left to go
on vacation to Germany and hoped that I would
be able to leave my feelings of fear behind.
Sometimes, one never knows what to expect on a
trip. There were times when I felt like
Cinderella, had quite an adventure, and wished
that I had brought my weapon for protection.
When I returned home, something very unexpected
happened to me. I had a relationship with a man
that seemed to be surreal. One can only
continue to pray for white roses in a dream,
and hope for a new beginning with their life.
It doesn’t always have to be a dream!"
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According
to the book description of MANipulated Into Fear : There Is Always A Pattern, it “is based
on a true story about a man I went to high school with and years later married and divorced three times within thirteen years.
His name was Rolf. During this time, I was living the dark side of life but others perceived me as living a happy and perfect
life. Back in our high school days Rolf grew up as a farmer and drank beer with his buddies. After high school he began to
run with the wrong crowd and changed dramatically. I knew he liked to drink a lot of beer and liquor and had used drugs in
the past, but I was not aware of his addictive personality and the severity of his addictions. At the beginning of our relationship
each time he portrayed himself as the man I had thought he was years before. Within a period of time he began to manipulate
me into fear and take control of my life to benefit himself.
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All
three times in the beginning of my relationship with Rolf he was dedicated to Christ, was family-oriented, charming, kind,
respectful, and loving, complimented me all the time, apologized for his actions, and knew how to make me feel sorry for him.
Shortly after I would marry him he would begin to manipulate and con me into doing things I did not want to do. Rolf would
call me uncountable times during the day and want to know my whereabouts. He then insisted on being with me except for when
I was at work. This took my time away from friends and family, and that is when the mental abuse began. He stopped complimenting
me and began calling me names making me feel worthless, and told me that nobody liked me. When I would accuse him of wrongdoings
he would become outraged, screaming at me and using profanity. After he gained control of me, the physical abuse began. Later,
I learned that I had repeatedly been involved with a psychopath and that there is always a pattern. Get out of the relationship
and don't go back! The person will never change!”
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